THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT (4K) and the Great Dog Monologue

THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT (4K UHD)

1996 / 120 min

From Arrow Video

Review by Mr. Bonnie, the Brain Smasher😺

If nothing else, The Long Kiss Goodnight features the greatest inspirational speech ever given in a film. Brian Cox’s character, Dr. Nathan Waldman, is sitting at the dining table with his wife and dog, the latter of which is bathing himself. It’s during this scene that Nathan says to his wife:

“He’s been licking his asshole for the last three straight hours. I submit to you that there’s nothing there worth more than an hour’s attention. I should think whatever he is attempting to dislodge is either gone for good, or there to stay. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Those lines come courtesy of screenwriter Shane Black, and if he never typed another word afterwards, he more-than-earned a place among the pantheon of legendary Hollywood writers. As for the rest of the movie…most of it faded from my memory over the years, though I do remember enjoying it. Back then, director Renny Harlin was still cranking out solid action films, Genna Davis was still an adorable A-lister and Samuel L. Jackson was still Samuel Motherf**king Jackson (then again, he's always been Samuel Motherf**king Jackson, hasn’t he?).

Married to Davis at the time, Harlin tried turning her into an action heroine, first with the historically disastrous Cutthroat Island, followed by this. Though a much better film, it did little for either of their careers. Davis went into the Stuart Little business, while hubby Harlin had one last decent movie in him (Deep Blue Sea) before descending into mediocrity. So as a power couple, The Long Kiss Goodnight could be seen as their legacy. And like a lot of movies written (and sometimes directed) by Shane Black, it developed something of a cult following thanks to home video.

The greatest speech...ever.

This 4K disc is the first time I’ve sat down to watch the movie in at least two decades. The story of amnesiac suburban mom Samantha Caine (Davis) slowly realizing she was once a government assassin named Charlie Baltimore is a solid foundation to build an action flick, albeit a familiar one. But it’s ultimately Black’s witty screenplay that makes it crackle, especially when heard through co-stars Samuel Motherf**king Jackson and Brian Cox, both who steal the movie right from under Davis’ nose. Elsewhere, there’s plenty of the usual kaboom, but like Black’s The Last Boy Scout, the dialogue is the movie’s most memorable aspect.

And you know what? Almost 30 years later, I still laughed my ass off during Cox’s tirade about his anally-obsessed pooch. In fact, I rewatched that scene twice. 

Speaking of rewatching, fans of The Long Kiss Goodnight will certainly enjoy revisiting it in 4K. I’ve never seen the film on DVD or Blu-ray, so I can’t draw any upgrade comparisons, but the picture and sound here are both excellent. Additionally, Arrow Video has thrown in a big batch of new bonus features, along with a few older ones.

EXTRA KIBBLES

NOTE: Free Kittens Movie Guide was provided with a promo disc for review purposes. Physical supplemental material included with the final product (booklets, artwork, inserts, etc) were not available for review.

NEW INTERVIEWS - Symphony of Destruction features stunt coordinator Steven Davdson (not Dave Mustaine); Long Live the New Flesh features make-up artist Gordon J. Smith (not David Cronenberg); Girl Interrupted features actress Yvonne Zima, who played Samantha’s eight-year-old daughter (not Angelina Jolie).

3 VISUAL ESSAYS - Amnesia Chick is by film scholar Josh Nelson, who discusses a long line of films with amnesiac protagonists; The Mirror Crack’d is by Howard S. Berger (not Agatha Christie); A Woman’s World is by author & film critic Alexandra Heller-Nicholas.

2 AUDIO COMMENTARIES - 1) By critic Walter Chaw; 2) By Bloodhaus podcasters Drusilla Adeline and Joshua Conkel.

ARCHIVE INTERVIEWS - Featuring director Renny Harlin, actors Geena Davis, Samuel Motherf**king Jackson and Craig Bierko (whatever happened to that guy?)

MAKING-OF FEATURETTE

BEHIND-THE-SCENES EPK

DELETED SCENES

IMAGE GALLERY

TRAILER

Looking Back at EARTH II

EARTH II (Blu-ray)

1971 / 97 min

From Warner Archive Collection

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Mr. Paws😺

In addition to bringing hundreds of old classics to Blu-ray, Warner Archive seems well aware of an entire generation who grew up on made-for-TV movies of the 1970s. Some of this writer’s first exposure to horror, science-fiction and thrillers came courtesy of the ABC Movie of the Week and CBS Tuesday Night Movies.

One of them I vaguely recall is Earth II. Like such similar TV movies from the era as Genesis II and The Questor Tapes, it was originally produced as the pilot episode for a potential series, but never found an audience. As a kid with a growing interest in science-fiction, I remember tuning in to watch it, but almost nothing about the actual plot

Revisiting Earth II on Blu-ray was an interesting experience. The special effects and space sequences that kept me glued to the set when I was eight years old are obviously antiquated, but an enjoyable trip down memory lane nevertheless. Conversely, having remembered nothing about the story beyond the basic premise, much of the film felt completely new to me.

Earth II is an orbiting space station (predating the ISS) that is declared a sovereign nation with its own democratic government, so committed to peace that even toy guns are forbidden. Though commanded by David Seville (Gary Lockwood), all decisions affecting its thousands of citizens are voted on by everyone. This idyllic existence is threatened when the Chinese park an orbiting nuclear weapon nearby, threatening war if anyone tinkers with it.

Gary suddenly realizes how much he misses Stanley Kubrick.

David wants to leave it alone, but goaded by hawkish new arrival Frank Karger (Anthony Franciosa), the citizens vote to capture the bomb and deactivate it. But Frank wants to go one step further and keep the bomb to make Earth II a nuclear superpower, to the chagrin of his distraught wife, Lisa (Mariette Hartley), who wants to keep the station a peaceful society to raise their son. So she launches the weapon, thinking it will fly into the sun (which was originally suggested by David). Instead, it heads toward Earth. So now David and his team must retrieve and disarm the bomb, which is growing increasingly unstable.

Conceptually, I can see how Earth II could’ve been a decent series (if somewhat short-lived, like most sci-fi shows of the era). Though not particularly thrilling, the movie’s teleplay is pretty well written and occasionally thought provoking. With a cast consisting primarily of television actors, the overall performances are decent. And despite obviously being created with future episodes in mind, the pilot works well enough as a standalone story.

Of course, the primary appeal of Earth II today is purely nostalgic. Its quaint ‘70s aesthetic and TV origins would probably be lost on anyone who didn’t grow up with this stuff. For those who did - like yours truly - watching this is an agreeable look back at a bygone era of TV science-fiction.

COMPANION Is Full of Surprises

COMPANION (Blu-ray)

2025 / 97 min

From Warner Bros #InPartnershipwithWB

Review by Stinky the Destroyer😺

Part of me wishes I could’ve watched Companion without any prior knowledge of the premise. But I get it…you can’t market a sci-fi horror thriller without at least dropping a hint that its main character, Iris (Sophie Thatcher), is a robot created and programmed to be a loving soulmate. Still, even the Blu-ray cover tends to undermine the big revelation writer-director Drew Hancock masterfully builds up to during the first act.

On the other hand, Hancock has plenty of other surprises up his sleeve, most of which the viewer isn’t likely to see coming. More importantly, the basic plot subverts our assumptions that Companion is yet-another tale of AI gone bad. So no…Iris doesn’t become an unstoppable Terminator or malicious Weyland Yutani android. In fact, she’s the main protagonist.

Shopping in Stepford.

To avoid spoiling some of the movie’s wild, wonderful twists and turns, I’m gonna refrain from going into any more story details. I will say that Companion features a consistently compelling narrative, excellent overall performances (especially Thatcher) and well-realized characters, most of whom, at one point or another, are not who they seem to be when first introduced. This is all largely thanks to a well-constructed, intelligent screenplay that also addresses such timely issues as toxic relationships, personal autonomy and, of course, the ramifications of AI technology.

That’s not to say Companion is some kind of serious cautionary tale. Though certainly offering ideas and themes that are worth pondering, it’s mainly a wildly entertaining sci-fi thrill ride. Suspenseful, violent and sometimes wickedly funny, it’s a fast-paced film that doesn’t wear out its welcome with unnecessary peripherals, building to a satisfying climax and resolution. So far, this is one of the best of the year.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - Companion: I Feel Therefore I Am focuses on Sophie Thatcher’s role as Iris; Companion: Love, Eli features Harvey Gullen discussing his character; AI Horror includes details related to the special effects.

DIGITAL COPY

FLIGHT RISK Never Soars, But...

FLIGHT RISK (Blu-ray)

2025 / 91 min

From Lionsgate

Review by Princess Pepper😼

Say what will about Mel Gibson as a person…until now, his directorial career was pretty damn impressive. Even that dour slab of Christian torture porn known as The Passion of the Christ was an ambitious achievement. 

But I sensed no ambition behind Flight Risk. Gibson’s previous movies all felt like passion projects. Whether one liked any of them or not, we never doubted he was putting his heart & soul into every shot. Conversely, this one is aesthetically underwhelming, looks cheaply cranked out and plays like the recent direct-to-video stuff Gibson's acting career has been regulated to ever since he went all funny on us. If I had paid to see this in a theater, I’d have felt short changed.

Not that I ever actually intended to see it in a theater. The generic title & trailer, stupid tagline (Y’all need a pilot?) and the fact that Mark Wahlberg hasn’t done a good movie in years precluded making it part of any expensive date night plans. But at home, where my expectations are always significantly lower? I have to concede that Flight Risk isn’t half bad. At no point does it exceed those tempered expectations, but there are worse ways to kill 90 minutes.

That might be faint praise for a movie directed by the guy responsible for Braveheart, Apocalypto and Hacksaw Ridge, but it’s safe to say Mel Gibson is no longer that guy. His work in Flight Risk reflects a director-for-hire. As such, he knows how to keep the story chugging along with perfunctory skill, but does little beyond that. 

Marky Mark flies coach.

Actually, the film’s MVP is Mark Wahlberg, which I never thought I’d say with a straight face. If you can get past the standard-issue plot, cavernous lapses in plausibility and Topher Grace obnoxiously re-channeling Eric Foreman, Walhlberg’s scenery-chewing performance is a real hoot. He plays Daryl Booth, a sadistic hitman hired to kill fugitive mob accountant Winston (Grace), who’s being escorted by disgraced FBI agent Madolyn Harris (Michelle Dockery) to testify at a trial. To do this, he poses as the pilot flying them back to civilization from a remote Alaska location where Winston’s been hiding. Naturally, chaos ensues.

Almost the entire story takes place in the claustrophobic confines of the airplane, but Wahlberg compensates for the setting’s limited cinematic possibilities with a wonderfully unhinged performance. As Booth, he leers, sneers, intimidates and assaults his prey like a man who’s really into his work. And despite being repeatedly (and violently) bested by Harris, he’s as resilient as Jason Voorhees, bouncing back from a variety of injuries that would likely kill most mere mortals. 

More importantly, he (sort of?) disappears into the role. Though his character’s pattern baldness looks more like a freshly-shaved head, this is one of my few times watching Mark Wahlberg where I wasn’t constantly reminded I was watching Mark Wahlberg. The movie needs him too, because elsewhere, Flight Risk is a comparatively minor action flick from a director whose movies were once events. It’s watchable and sometimes fun, but only marginally better than the kind of stuff that typically premieres on Netflix.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTE - Risk Management: Making Flight Risk is an eight-minute featurette consisting of interviews with Gibson, screenwriter Jared Rosenberg and some of the cast.

TRAILER

DVD AND DIGITAL COPIES

DELICATESSEN (4K) and ANTIVIRAL (4K): Some Casual Cannibalism

DELICATESSEN and ANTIVIRAL (4K UHD)

From Severin Films

Review by Princess Pepper😺

Severin Films serves up a couple of meaty treats in delicious 4K. One is a French cult classic. Considering the name and growing reputation of the director, the other probably will be. And both of them throw subtle touches of cannibalism into their already bizarre narratives.

DELICATESSEN (1991/99 min) - The first feature film by Jean-Pierre Jeunet (co-directing with Marc Cano), Delicatessen is a visually stunning calling card. It combines elements of post-apocalypse sci-fi, horror and black comedy into a Pythonesque tale of a butcher who hires handymen so he can kill, cut-up and sell them as meat in his deli. But the new guy, ex-circus performer Louison (Dominique Pinon), endears himself to the butcher’s daughter, Julie (Marie-Laure Dougnac), who wants to save him from the same fate.

The nutshell story is only a small part of what makes Delicatessen enjoyable. There are other subplots involving other eccentric tenants who share the building (my favorite being an unhappy housewife’s elaborate attempts to commit suicide). And despite some dark underpinnings, the overall tone often borders on whimsical, as exemplified with Louison & Julie’s developing romance, as well as some strange-but-amusing musical set-pieces. 

Both narratively and aesthetically, the whole thing plays like something out of Terry Gilliam’s repertoire (Gilliam himself lent his name to the promotional campaign during its initial release). The subject matter might be off-putting to casual viewers, and the story is occasionally a little meandering, but overall, Delicatessen is a unique film that’s engaging just to look at.

EXTRA KIBBLES: FEATURETTE - Fine Cooked Meats: The Making of Delicatessen; INTERVIEWS - Individual interviews with directors Jean-Pierre Jeunet & Marc Cano, ‘presenter’ Terry Gilliam and Marc Cano by himself; TRAILER; AUDIO COMMENTARY - By co-director Jean-Pierre Jeunet; 4K & BLU-RAY COPIES.

This man orders the Not-So-Happy Meal.

ANTIVIRAL (20212/108 min) - Brandon Cronenberg is, of course, the son of undisputed body horror master David Cronenberg. Having previously watched and reviewed his second film, Possessor, one thing was certain: The apple didn’t fall too far from the tree. 2012’s Antiviral was actually his first effort, and while not as graphic and gory, there’s some twisted imagination at work.

There’s also a timely, relevant theme running throughout the film, that of celebrity worship taken to sick extremes. In this world, fans can buy and eat meat genetically grown from their idols’ cells. But the truly obsessed are happy to pay exorbitant amounts of money to inject themselves with viruses and diseases carried by famous people. In fact, its a huge business, with corporations competing for the rights to the most popular celebrities’ blood.

Syd Match (Caleb Landry Jones), a salesman for Luca Clinic, hawks pathogens from Hannah Geist (Sarah Gadon), the Taylor Swift of infected idols. He also injects himself in secret, then sells his infected blood on the black market, which not only renders him increasingly ill, he runs afoul of pirates and competitors.

That’s the rudimentary summary of a fairly complex (and occasionally murky) storyline. The film is pretty thin on characterization, but remains morbidly compelling and visually impressive. Cronenberg fills the screen with beautiful and repulsive imagery, leading to a twisted climax that must be seen to be believed. All told, it’s one hell of an audacious debut.

EXTRA KIBBLES: FEATURETTES - Anatomy of a Virus is an interesting 30 minute making-of doc; Reviving a Dead Cell is about the film’s 4K restoration; Brandon Cronenberg: A First Time Director’s Vision is a short interview; First Meeting features actors Caleb Landry Jones and Sarah Gadon; The Design of Antiviral focuses on the film’s production design; Manufacturing Celebrity features short segments with cast & crew; “BROKEN TULIPS” - Short film by Brandon Cronenberg, which was the basis for Antiviral; AUDIO COMMENTARY - By Brandon Cronenberg & cinematographer Karin Hussein; DELETED SCENES; TRAILER.

"Guess I shoulda read the instructions first."

In addition to a bunch of interesting bonus features (especially those accompanying Antiviral), both films have been given excellent 4K transfers. Delicatessen has never looked or sounded better, while Antiviral’s cold aesthetic seems tailor made for the format. They are highly recommended for those whose tastes lean toward the offbeat and bizarre.