|I DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN SAVE THE|
PASSENGERS, BUT WE SHOULD GET SOME
FIRECRACKERS AND BLOW THIS MODEL UP
2. Airport’s casting director had an ironic sense of humor, hiring Dean Martin to play an airline pilot.
3. Linda Blair would be more endearing as the sickly girl in Airport 1975 if she was still possessed by Satan.
4. Concorde jets aren’t as fast as we think, because you can slide open a window and stick out your arm to fire a gun without getting it torn off at the shoulder.
|UH, HONEY...IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS SOFT?|
5. A woman simply cannot function or think for herself until her man comes to the rescue.
6. Jaws is not the first movie franchise where Universal Pictures simply stopped giving a fuck.
7. Airplane! is not the funniest disaster movie parody ever made. That title belongs to The Concorde - Airport ‘79.
8. No sane person in the real world wishes harm on children, but damned if you don't find yourself hoping the overly-obnoxious/sickeningly-sweet kids in these films would go down with the plane.
9. Jack Lemmon’s mustache makes him look like a used car salesman.
10. It's amazing how fast the weather changes in Airport 1975. One second it's cloudy, the next it's clear, then cloudy again. Night and day seem to come and go within minutes as well.
12. Truly advanced aircraft included the massive, tabletop version of Pong as entertainment.
13. If Lee Grant was your wife, you’d volunteer to put your life at-risk, too. Probably daily.
14. Airline pilots apparently have some kind of legal immunity from sexual harassment lawsuits.
15. No one will notice the smell of the fat joint you just fired-up in the plane’s tiny restroom, or the smoke billowing into the cabin when you open the door.
16. Bad guys like to wear disguises, even if the plot of the movie doesn’t really require them to have one.
17. By 1979, Avery Schreiber was one of the last white guys in the world still sporting a ‘fro.
|THERE'S NOTHING IN AIRPORT 1975 AS|
COOL AS THIS PICTURE.
19. Offering to pay for your mistress’ abortion shows your sensitivity.
20. Unless they are Betty White (who was smart enough never to appear in an Airport movie), snarky, silly and feisty old people have never been, and never will be, oddly endearing, gruffly charming or remotely funny.
21. “They don’t call it a cockpit for nothing” might be the most sexist line of dialogue ever uttered in a PG-rated movie.
|THERE ARE NO PROBLEMS SO GREAT|
THAT A LITTLE BOOZE CAN'T FIX.
23. There is no one alive who can explain why John Davidson was ever famous.
24. We do not want to see Charo’s dog. We want to see Charo’s boobs.
25. Airport 1975 would have made an awesome video game for the Wii, had it existed back then...Put Chuck in the Cockpit!