Blu-Ray Review: THE NIGHT BEFORE

Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogan, Anthony Mackie, Lizzy Caplan, Jillian Bell, Mindy Kaling, Michael Shannon. Directed by Jonathan Levine. (2015, 101 min).
SONY

The Night Before is more or less what you’d expect from Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg. The two have previously collaborated on such scatological stoner comedies as Superbad, Pineapple Express and This is the End. If you hold those films in high regard, now you have one to ring in the holidays.

Rogan, Anthony Mackie and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are Isaac, Chris and Ethan, three life-long friends who’ve made partying ’till they puke a Christmas Eve tradition, which started years before when Isaac and Chris were consoling Ethan after the sudden death of his parents. Now they’re getting older; Isaac’s first child is on the way, Chris is a pro athlete and Ethan is a struggling musician whose girlfriend, Diana (Lizzy Caplan), left him because of his fear of commitment. The three get together for one last Christmas Eve blow-out before moving on with their lives.

One thing that’s always eluded them each year was the legendary “Nutcracker Ball,” a Christmas party so big and wild that its location is only available to those with tickets. When Ethan happens upon three tickets (he steals them), they are off, but not before scoring weed (several times) from local dealer Mr. Green (Michael Shannon, who’s not only hilarious, but also a philosophical moral compass). The usual wild-night-gone-bad hijinks ensue, sometimes quite funny, other times not (Rogan’s ‘I-can’t-handle-my-high’ routine gets tiresome pretty quick).

"Man, that weird, numerical birthmark on my chest is really starting to itch."

As with previous Rogan/Goldberg collaborations, The Night Before is rambling, episodic and gratuitously raunchy (dick-pics, anyone?). I suspect it’s director Joseph Levine (50/50, Warm Bodies) who's responsible for giving the film some actual heart with surprisingly sentimental moments that makes us genuinely like these characters.

What this means is The Night Before is a mixed bag. It isn’t particularly original or clever, but it’s amusing enough to please those who consider Pineapple Express to be the Gone with the Wind of stoner movies. If you aren’t already onboard with this type of humor, The Night Before isn’t likely to change your mind

BONUS FEATURES:

• Featurettes: “Making One Epic Party - 20 Minutes of Shenanigans” (title tells all); “The Spirit of Christmas”; “Midnight Mass with Nana”; “Drunkest Santas on the Block”; “Mr. Green Line-O-Rama”; “Christmas in the Summer”
• Deleted/Extended Scenes
• Gag Reel
• Digital Copy

KITTY CONSENSUS:

NOT BAD...LIKE CAT CHOW...IF FLUFFY HAS THE MUNCHIES.

DVD Review: THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

Starring Naomi Klein. Directed by Avi Lewis. (2015, 89 min).
VSC

Like a lot of folks, climate change worries me. Personally, I think the evidence is overwhelming and fear we're leaving our children & grandchildren a world they won't be able to fix. There's an equal number who believe climate change is a myth or hoax perpetuated by a batch of scientific Chicken Littles looking for attention. While I hope and pray all the deniers are right, it shocks me how many are willing to roll the dice and do nothing about it. One would think some kind of action would be prudent in case of the off-chance they're wrong.

Yet I don't really do anything about it either. Sure, I recycle, but only because the city forces me to. I drive a gas-guzzling SUV and continue to buy products that I know are bad for the environment simply because they're cheaper or more convenient. While I verbally support those calling attention to humanity's short-sightedness regarding our planet, I've never felt compelled to join the crusade, unlike those featured in This Changes Everything.

This is a documentary based on Naomi Klein's bestselling book, featuring groups of people from various parts of the world taking on powerful governments and corporations in an effort to instigate change in regions where the land and water are being adversely affected by progress & commerce. As narrated by Klein herself, these are noble causes, to be sure, and the film does an admirable job focusing more on the awareness they're creating than dishing out dire apocalyptic warnings. In other words, this is not a rehash of Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth.

"Freebiiiird!"

But regardless of your position in the climate change debate, you have to admit An Inconvenient Truth was a captivating film. Whether it shocked you, reinforced your beliefs or had you screaming bullshit, its sheer audacity rendered it a memorable experience. While This Changes Everything is an obvious labor of love by everyone involved (including a list of well known celebrities serving as producers), as viewers, we aren't as emotionally invested in what's at stake (and we should be!). We admire these activists for what they're trying to accomplish, yet even though we see numerous scenes of them rallying against the system, we're ultimately never shown whether or not their efforts actually did any good. For a film which tries to be a call-to-arms regarding our impact on the environment, it simply isn't incendiary enough to resonate with the average viewer.

Ultimately, This Changes Everything has its heart in the right place and the subject matter couldn’t be more timely. It’s easy to admire the filmmakers’ intentions by calling attention to the struggles of activist groups squaring off against the system. However, as a viewing experience, it’s the kind of movie where you walk away feeling better about yourself for giving it your attention, but won’t likely linger too much afterwards. It should have been angrier, more inflammatory and debatable.

BONUS FEATURES:

• Interview with Naomi Klein, Director Avi Lewis & Executive Producer Alfonso Cuaron
• Deleted Scenes

KITTY CONSENSUS:

NOT BAD...THOUGH WE SHOULD BE FEELING MORE WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE

Blu-Ray Review: FARGO - YEAR TWO

Starring Kirsten Dunst, Patrick Wilson, Jesse Plemons, Jean Smart, Ted Danson, Cristin Milioti, Jeffrey Donovan, Bokeem Woodbine, Brad Garrett, Nick Offerman, Michael Hogan, Zahn McClarnon, Kieran Culkin, Angus Sampson, Adam Arkin, Bruce Campbell. Various directors. (2015, 532 min).
20th CENTURY FOX

Who would have thought such a quirky classic like Fargo would ever inspire, not just a TV series, but an actual good one? And who would have thought any such show, no matter how creative, would have enough mainstream appeal to warrant a second season?

But here we are, Year Two, with a brand new 10 episode tale and another stellar cast led by Patrick Wilson, Kirsten Dunst, Jean Smart and Ted Danson. This time, it's 1979. The notorious Gerhardt family, led by matriarch Floyd (Smart) & her three idiotic sons, is being threatened by a take-over from a Kansas City crime syndicate. Youngest son Rye commits a triple homicide at a diner before being hit by a car driven by beautician Peggy Blumquist (Dunst). Panicked, she flees the scene with Rye still on the hood and, with the help of her dim-but-good-natured husband, Ed (Jesse Plemons), disposes of the body, hoping life will go on as usual. State Trooper Lou Solverson (Wilson) and father-in-law/sheriff Hank Larsson (Danson) are trying to solve both crimes. In the meantime, the Gerhardts prepare for a war with the Kansas City mob while trying to find out what ever became of Rye. Things becomes increasingly complicated (in a good way) as events & circumstances - not-to-mention random chance - escalate into bloodshed and betrayal.

Not having seen Year One, I can't tell you how well that season retains the overall tone of the original film. But Year Two, which tells a completely different story, certainly does, with quirky characters, deliciously black humor and well-timed moments of jarring violence. The whole thing looks and feels like the original Fargo, right down to the production design and ingenious use of obscure music from the era in which it takes place. The script is clever and funny, with plenty of asides for various vignettes that allow minor characters to shine. I do, however, question the WTF subplot of infrequent UFO sightings throughout the show. These scenes pop up almost randomly two or three times and have no baring on the story whatsoever, yet during a climactic shoot-out, a massive flying saucer drops down to make its presence known.

"Cheerios without sugar? I don't think so."

Still, like the original film, it's the characters and performances which ultimately carry the show. Standouts include Plemons, Zahn McClarnon as an icy psychotic who's loyal (?) to the Gerhardts, Jeffrey Donovan as the oldest, most-hateful Gerhardt brother and Bokeem Woodbine as an ambitious mob enforcer. While I’ve never been a particularly big fan of Danson or Dunst, both deliver career performances. All these characters would be amusing to watch even without the labyrinthine plot.

Best of all, Fargo: Year Two is addictive and binge-worthy. The story builds a momentum that is best appreciated and enjoyed in a marathon sitting. It takes its time getting going, then winds itself down with a satisfying resolution that doesn’t quite answer every question raised during its 10 episodes (such as the aforementioned UFO sightings or an out-of-the-blue killing spree by one of the major characters). But while we’re in the moment, this is terrific entertainment worthy of the Fargo brand name.

BONUS FEATURES:

• Featurettes: "Waffles and Bullet Holes: A Return to Sioux Falls" (making-of); "Lou on Lou: A conversation with Noah Hawley, Keith Carradine (who played Lou in Season 1) and Patrick Wilson"; "The History of True Crime in the Mid-West"
• Slap Sprang TV Commercial
• "The Films of Ronald Reagan" (audio commentary by Bruce Campbell)

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS

Movie Review: LONDON HAS FALLEN

Starring Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Alon Moni Aboutboul, Angela Bassett, Robert Forster, Melissa Leo, Radha Mitchell, Charlotte Riley, Jackie Earle Haley, Sean O'Brien. Directed by Babak Najafi. (2016, 99 min).
GRAMERCY PICTURES

Sometimes you just gotta have McDonald's.

It's obviously not the finest cuisine, but one thing is certain: wherever life takes you, down the road or across the sea, a Quarter Pounder will always taste like a Quarter Pounder, no matter what McDonald's you walk into. Your local five-star bistro may have a better reputation, but can sometimes be a crapshoot, depending on how adventurous you are when ordering (or the mood of the chef that day). If you’re simply looking to have your hunger sated, there are times when unwavering consistency trumps food quality.

London Has Fallen, the sequel to 2013's surprisingly successful Olympus Has Fallen, is sort of like going to the drive-thru and ordering that Quarter Pounder, a comparison actually intended as a supreme compliment. Like any sequel nobody was asking for, it won't earn any Oscar nominations, light-up the box office or stick with us for too long after consuming it. But if you enjoyed the first film (you have to admit Olympus Has Fallen was what A Good Day to Die Hard should have been but wasn't), London Has Fallen will not disappoint.

The president steps on Legos.

Most of the cast who survived the original returns for this one, which once-again has Secret Service agent Mike Banning (Gerard Butler) trying to protect President Benjamin Asher (Aaron Eckhart) from another crew of disgruntled terrorists, who've this-time laid siege on London. Once again, famous landmarks are obliterated with the best CGI possible with the budget. Once again, Morgan Freeman is on-hand (now the vice president) to offer ominous exposition while watching the events unfold from the safety of a control room. Once again, Banning is a one-man wrecking crew with an endless supply of ammo who shrugs-off combat wounds with a hiss and a grimace. Once again, a willing suspension of disbelief is required from the viewer to get any enjoyment out of the film.

If you're still reading this, you are likely one of those viewers. London Has Fallen serves-up a heaping-helping of explosive fun in its single-minded attempt to provide the same bang-for-the-buck as the original. Butler may not be quite as charismatic as Bruce Willis on a good day, but we like him enough to care whether or not he succeeds (though that’s never in question). In fact, the banter between his character and Eckhart’s actually lightens things up quite a bit. While seldom particularly clever, their dialogue in-between gunfights and explosions renders this sequel more amusing than the overall serious tone of the first film.

And kudos to everyone involved for keeping London Has Fallen as hardcore, visceral and bloody as the original. In this age when a Die Hard sequel can be defanged to earn a PG-13 rating to drag in the mallrat crowd, it’s nice to see at-least some folks in Hollywood still appear to understand what fans of this type of action are looking for.

London Has Fallen doesn’t offer a single surprise or make any attempt to challenge the intellect. Right from the get-go, it aspires to be no-more than cinematic junk food, just like those times when we aren’t feeling particularly adventurous and head to McDonald’s because we know exactly what we’re getting for our money. It simply feels good and agreeable going down. While we may not walk out of the theater feeling stimulated, we're at-least satisfied.

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR...LIKE A RELIABLE OLD QUARTER POUNDER

Blu-Ray Review: MY ALL-AMERICAN

Starring Finn Wittrock, Aaron Eckhart, Sarah Bolger, Juston Street, Robin Tunney, Michael Reilly Burke. Directed by Angelo Pizzo. (2015, 119 min).
UNIVERSAL

Ever pour yourself a bowl of Cheerios without dumping in a few teaspoons of sugar? Yeah, it’s edible - even good for you - but breakfast isn’t quite as enjoyable, is it? That’s what My All-American is like.

Since this is the directorial debut of Angelo Pizzo (screenwriter of Rudy & Hoosiers), one understandably expects yet-another inspirational triumph-of-the-underdog story. Hey, deal me in! I’ve always been a sucker for these things, and Pizzo has certainly proven in the past he knows how to push all the right buttons when it comes to sports-related true stories.

My All-American is based on the true story of Freddie Steinmark, an undersized Colorado football player who gets a scholarship to play under the tutelage of Coach Darrell Royal at the University of Texas. His brief but brilliant football is threatened when a malignant tumor is discovered in one of his legs.

"Well, somebody's happy to see me."

But while the film is certainly earnest and watchable, it’s also curiously uninvolving. The performances are decent all around, yet none of the characters resonate much. We don’t really get to know any of them, including Steinmark, well enough to become emotionally invested. Not only that, despite a few early suggestions that his size was an issue, we’re never presented with a moment where Steinmark has to overcome any kind of physical obstacles. Until he’s diagnosed late in the film, he’s kicking ass on the gridiron from the get-go.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. As a period piece and sports film, My All-American is just fine. The numerous game scenes & montages are exciting, and Pizzo once-again demonstrates ample knowledge and respect for his subject. But it’s also intended to be a tear-jerker along the lines of Brian’s Song. In that respect, there simply isn’t enough sugar on the Cheerios to have us reaching for a tissue.

BONUS FEATURES:
2 Featurettes: "The Spirit of Freddie Steinmark"; "A Look Inside My All-American" (both are very similar and only a couple of minutes long)

KITTY CONSENSUS:

NOT BAD, BUT NOT AS EMOTIONALLY INVOLVING AS IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN.

DVD Review: THE SPOILS OF BABYLON

Starring Tobey Maguire, Kristen Wiig, Tim Robbins, Jessica Alba, Haley Joel Osment, Michael Sheen, Val Kilmer, Will Ferrell, Steve Tom. Directed by Matt Piedmont. (2014, 138 min).
ANCHOR BAY

It helps if you are at-all familiar with what The Spoils of Babylon is spoofing, namely all the epic miniseries which proliferated network television in the 70s and 80s. Most were based on literary junk food written by the likes of Irwin Shaw, Harold Robbins and Colleen McCullough, and just as forgettable.

It also helps if you have an appreciation for Funny Or Die’s off-kilter brand of humor, especially since this IFC miniseries isn’t simply a direct parody either. While it’s definitely silly, the gags range from extraordinarily subtle to heavy-handed slapstick. You really have to be in the right frame of mind for this.

That said, The Spoils of Babylon is a mixed bag, often chuckle-worthy, seldom laugh-out-loud hilarious. Will Ferrell plays Eric Jonrosh, the pretentious author of the original novel who introduces each episode with all the pomposity and self-importance he can muster. Regarding the actual story, it’s a six episode tale of the decades-long rise and fall of the Morehouse family’s oil empire, as told by adopted son Devon (Tobey Maguire). Many of the usual mini-series tropes are skewered. Some scenes are quite clever, while others play more like those Saturday Night Live sketches that go on far too long.

Guess who's really constipated.

The cast seems to be having a good time, though. Kristen Wiig is terrific as Cynthia, Devon’s sister/love interest. She over-emotes tremendously, on purpose, like a bad TV actress taking her role too seriously. On the other hand, Haley Joel Osment overacts in the worst way, as in,“Look at me chew the scenery! Isn't it funny?” As for Ferrell’s opening and closing segments for each episode...well, it’s typical Will Ferrell, meaning he's initially funny and spot-on, then takes just one step too far into shtick. The show’s budget-minded production values (and intentionally bad editing) are also amusing, though not really reflective of any miniseries made back then. The obvious tiny models seem to exist for their own sake, but are admittedly fun.

Despite its spottiness, The Spoils of Babylon never quite wears out its welcome. While seldom totally hilarious, it's a congenially goofy good time and arguably more effective when seen all in one sitting (a little over two hours) than in weekly installments on IFC (when a single episode would compel few to return the following week).

BONUS FEATURES: None

KITTY CONSENSUS:

NOT BAD...LIKE CAT CHOW.

Corman's DEATH RACE 2050 Begins Production

TIME TO PURR, KITTIES!

LEGENDARY FILMMAKING ICON, ROGER CORMAN RETURNS
TO PRODUCE THE MOST EPIC DEATH RACE EVER

MALCOLM MCDOWELL STARS IN THE SENSATIONAL ACTION-PACKED FILM

Roger Corman’s Death Race 2050
DEBUTING ON BLU-RAY, DVD AND DIGITAL HD
IN 2016 FROM UNIVERSAL PICTURES HOME ENTERTAINMENT

 

Universal City, California, February 18, 2016 – An outrageous action-packed film and reboot of the original Death Race 2000, Roger Corman’s Death Race 2050 began filming February 8 in Peru. Filled with the full-throttle mayhem and black-hearted humor, this all-new film drops the flag on a phalanx of automotive gladiators who earn points for killing pedestrians — and their fellow drivers. Roger Corman’s Death Race 2050 is an original release from Universal 1440 Entertainment, a production entity of Universal Pictures Home Entertainment. The film will be available exclusively on Blu-ray, DVD and Digital HD in 2016.

In the decades since well-known independent film pioneer and Academy Award^® winner Roger Corman first put the iconic anti-hero Frankenstein into the driver’s seat in Death Race 2000, this over-the-top cult classic has hurtled headlong toward cinematic immortality. Among the most enduring of the prolific producer’s legion of memorable films, Death Race 2000 has inspired a growing fan base that continues to propel the popular franchise as it marks the 40th anniversary of its original release.

“This is an amazing opportunity for me and millions of Death Race 2000 fans to experience the intensity, thrills and dark humor of the original, fueled by a terrific young cast, spectacular vehicles and side-splitting action, literally” said Corman, the trailblazing writer, director and producer. “Roger Corman’s Death Race 2050 puts the pedal to the metal to bring this enduring franchise to a whole new level.”

Roger Corman’s Death Race 2050 stars Manu Bennett (The Hobbit franchise) as Frankenstein, as well as Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange) as the Chairman, Burt Grinstead (“NCIS”), Marci Miller (Viper), Folake Olowofoyeku (The Beaver), Anessa Ramsey (Footloose), Yancy Butler (Hard Target) and Charlie Farrell (Cantar).

The film is directed by G.J. Echternkamp (Hard Candy) directs from a script by Matt Yamashita (Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda) and G.J. Echternkamp, and produced by Roger Corman (Death Race 2000) and Luis Llosa (Anaconda).

SYNOPSIS

In the not-too-distant future, America is controlled by an all-powerful corporate government that keeps the masses placated with violent virtual-reality entertainment. The event of the year is the Death Race, where a motley assortment of drivers compete in a cross-country road race, scoring points for running down pedestrians and killing each other. The reigning champion and popular favorite is half-man, half-machine Frankenstein — but little does he know he’s taken on a rebel spy as his co-pilot.

WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?

LONDON HAS FALLEN: Portland Advance Screening

Portland area advance screening of the action thriller,  

LONDON HAS FALLEN.  

Click HERE for FREE PASSES.

When & Where:

Thursday, February 25^th

Regal Bridgeport Village

Tigard, Oregon

7:00 PM

Blu-Ray Review: SECRET IN THEIR EYES

Starring Chiwetel Ejiofor, Nicole Kidman, Julia Roberts, Dean Norris, Michael Kelly, Joe Cole, Alfred Molina. Directed by Billy Ray. (2015, 112 min).
UNIVERSAL

A remake of the Oscar-winning 2009 Argentine film, Secret in Their Eyes features a great cast, all who bring their A-game to the proceedings. Billy Ray, primarily a screenwriter known for such films as Flightplan, The Hunger Games and Captain Phillips, returns to the director's chair for the first time since 2007's Breach, which was an outstanding (and overlooked) political thriller. In my humble estimation, this one couldn't miss.

Yet somehow, it does miss. Secret in Their Eyes isn't a bad film. The basic story structure of the original sort-of remains, that of a man obsessed with catching a rapist/murderer who got away with his crime years before, with the same surprising revelation at the end. And you couldn't ask for a better cast, where you'll see Julia Roberts at her least-glamorous. The dialogue is smart and the music score by Frederico Jusid & Emilio Kauderer is suitably haunting (though occasionally derivative of the "Prophecy Theme" from Dune).

Julia learns there's no Easter Bunny.

But in updating everything for American audiences, including a wholly unnecessary romantic subplot between two main characters, a lot gets lost in the translation. It's obvious Billy Ray has tremendous respect for the original film. At the same time, this feels more like a checklist of key plot points than a truly creative reinterpretation, almost as though it exists entirely for the big reveal at the end.

Secret in Their Eyes is mildly interesting and you probably won't regret checking it out. But in the end, the original story has been simply rendered into just another standard thriller, something I did not expect considering the talent on both sides of the camera. Sure, the final denouement still works on a visceral level, but we have to sit through a lot of familiar claptrap to get to it.

BONUS FEATURES:

• Featurettes: "Adapting the Story to Today's World"; "Julia Roberts Discusses Here Most Challenging Role"
• Commentary by Writer/Director Billy Ray and Producer Mark Johnson
• DVD & Digital Copies

KITTY CONSENSUS:

MEH...LIKE WATCHING THE DOG GETTING FED FIRST

Blu-Ray Review: THE GOOD DINOSAUR

Starring the voices of Raymond Ochoa, Jack Bright, Sam Elliott, Anna Paquin, A.J. Buckley, Jeffrey Wright, Frances McDormand, Steve Zahn. Directed by Peter Sohn. (2015, 94 min).
DISNEY / PIXAR

The Good Dinosaur will likely be remembered as Pixar's 'other' film released in 2015. The first, Inside Out, was such a triumphant return-to-form for the studio that this one was kind-of overshadowed and, to be honest, pales in comparison. While it isn't one of Pixar's homeruns, The Good Dinosaur hits a solid RBI double.

The initial what-if premise - an asteroid believed to have wiped out the dinosaurs actually missed - is mostly a gimmick to allow reptiles and humans to co-exist. Arlo is the fearful runt in a family of Apatosauruses, who maintain a corn field. Tragic circumstances (of the usual Disney variety) result in Argo being lost and on his own to find his way back home. He eventually befriends Spot, a feral caveboy who's also without a family. Enemies at first, these two learn to depend on each other for survival from one encounter to the next, which includes briefly falling-in with a family of cattle-herding T-Rexes.

There aren't a lot of surprises here, but the journey is entertaining enough and, as usual, the film is brilliantly animated. The Good Dinosaur might also be the only Pixar film made exclusively with kids in-mind, nearly devoid of gags or references only their parents would appreciate (save for Sam Elliott's casting as the head T-Rex). While that isn't necessarily a bad thing, it does automatically render the film one of the studio's lesser efforts.

Who farted?

Part of me also has to question the use of dialogue. The best scenes are those where no words are spoken, particular one near the end which is the most emotionally poignant in the entire film. Think of the heart-breaking intro to Up or the entire first half of WALL-E. They are dialogue free, yet still run us through an emotional wringer. The dialogue and voices in The Good Dinosaur aren't terrible or anything, but is it really necessary for these dinosaurs to speak? Couldn't the creative geniuses at Pixar found a way to tell the same story without words? If so, they might have had another masterpiece on their hands.

But I digress, because even with the missed creative opportunities, The Good Dinosaur is engaging, funny, suspenseful and better than a majority of the other 2015 films passing themselves off as family fare. Besides, if Pixar was to take my advice and get rid of all the dialogue, that would mean we couldn't enjoy Elliott's alligator campfire tale (the funniest scene in the entire film).

BONUS FEATURES:

• Featurettes: "The Filmmakers' Journey" (arguably the most comprehensive of the bonus features); "Hide and Seek"; "True Lies About Dinosaurs"; "Recyclosaurus"; "Every Part of the Dinsaur"; "Following the T-Rex Trail" (a real life family of Oregon Ranchers who inspired the T-Rex family in the film)
• Deleted Scenes
• Short Film: "Sanjay's Super Team" (which is cute, but not one of Pixar's best shorts)
• DVD & Digital Copies

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS