Blu-Ray Review: ZOOTOPIA

Starring the voices of Ginnifer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, Idris Elba, Jenny Slate, Don Lake, Tommy Chong, J.K. Simmons, Octavia Spencer, Alan Tudyk. Directed by Bryon Howard & Rich Moore. (2016, 108 min).
WALT DISNEY

Zootopia is arguably Disney’s best movie since The Lion King, their cleverest since Who Framed Roger Rabbit and their most original since...maybe ever.
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A big part of the reason it works so well is because it isn’t a kids’ movie, not in the purest sense anyway. Sure, it’s fast-paced, charming and visually stunning. So was The Croods: initially amusing, but a chore to endure upon repeated viewings (as any parent will attest to). And yeah, the story is engrossing, like most of Disney’s recent output, but Zootopia seems far more ambitious, drawing just as much inspiration from adult action fare like Lethal Weapon as it does tried-and-true animated story tropes, yet it never descends into pure parody. As is par-for-the-course, Zootopia has an underlying message. Lots of them, actually, but whether related to the main story or not, they are subtle, timely and subversive. The city of Zootopia is an ingeniously-rendered microcosm of humanity and the (sometimes ridiculous) prejudices which keep us divided.

But that’s just the story, which is as intriguing as any police procedural you’d care to name. With this film, the devil is in the details. Whether an obscure nod to The Godfather (obscure for kids, anyway), an off-the-cuff pop-culture reference, what we’ve always suspected about the DMV or simply something going on in the background, Zootopia is loaded with more throwaway scenes than we can possibly catch with a single viewing (kind of like the original Airplane!).

"Hasenpfeffer is made of WHAT?!?"

What’s ultimately ironic is the fact that Disney, after purchasing Pixar outright, has actually stepped-up their game with increasingly engaging films, while Pixar itself has fallen more-or-less into a holding pattern with unnecessary sequels and (Inside Out notwithstanding) generic concepts. Like The Lion King in the 90s, Zootopia may end up being a pinnacle of modern Disney animation, featuring the studio at its most creative in decades. Arguably among their all-time best, it’s hard to imagine topping this one any time soon.

BONUS FEATURES:

• Featurettes: “Zootopia: The Roundtables”; “The Origin of an Animal Tale” (the best of the bonus features); “Research: A True-Life Adventure”; “ZPD: Forensic Files” (a guide to many of the film’s Easter Eggs (and there’s a ton of ‘em).
• Deleted Characters
• Deleted Scenes
• DVD & Digital Copies

KITTY CONSENSUS:

MEE-OW! BETTER THAN  A FRESH CAN OF TUNA!

(or a plate of Hasenpfeffer)

Blu-Ray Review: 13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI

Starring James Badge Dale, John Krasinski, Max Martini, Dominic Fumusa, Pablo Schreiber, David Denman, Matt Letscher, Toby Stephens, Alexia Barlier. Directed by Michael Bay. (2016, 144 min).
PARAMOUNT

Either I’m losing my mind or the apocalypse is finally at-hand, because 13 Hours is a great film. This comes as a shock because it’s directed by none other than the notorious Michael Bay, our current whipping boy for the everything wrong with American cinema, who famously trivialized the horrific attack on Pearl Harbor by turning it into a shallow, bloated, FX-driven soap opera. To put my assessment in perspective, 13 Hours isn’t simply good-for-a-Michael-Bay film...it compares favorably to the likes of Black Hawk Down.

God knows I’ve done my fair share of Bay bashing, and it isn’t like he's really changed his brash, in-four-face style. But somehow, his particular skills are perfect for this film, which wisely eschews all the political baggage of this true story to focus exclusively on the incident itself. In 2012, six former soldiers (the Global Response Staff, or GRS) are ‘unofficially’ recruited to watch over the U.S. embassy (the last one remaining in war-torn Benghazi, Libya after the overthrow of Muammar Gaddafi), while also protecting a secret CIA base-of-operations a mile away. When militants attack the embassy during Ambassador Stevens’ visit, the GRS are initially unable to offer aid due to the supposed secrecy of the CIA outpost, but when they finally do go in, it’s too late. None of the GRS need a slide-rule to figure out the CIA outpost is the next target. With outside U.S. forces hours away and Libyan ‘friendlies’ mostly unwilling to get involved, these guys are on their own to protect the compound and everyone inside.

"You and your damned special orders..."

The premise alone makes 13 Hours smarter than any other film Michael Bay has ever cranked out. One revelation, however, is the amount of attention paid to the characters, especially Tyrone and Jack (James Badge Dale & John Krasinski), two long-time, battle-weary friends. Unlike most of Bay’s lengthy, hyperkinetic action-packed excursions, we’re afforded breathing room between the intense battle scenes to get to know most of the individuals involved, so we actually have a stake in who lives and dies.

As for the action itself, this is ironically where Bay’s oft-criticized style actually becomes an asset. These sequences are loud and chaotic, as they likely were during the incident. To depict them any other way would be a disservice to those of actually lived through it. This is another revelation...the complete respect Bay gives to the story and those involved by depicting events as accurately as possible, while still delivering an immersive, thrilling film. To be honest, I didn’t know he had it in him.

So I’m sort of troubled, since I’m usually ready and willing to bash Bay as the bane of modern movie making whenever I get the chance. But honestly, I can’t do that here. The true story behind 13 Hours is inherently riveting and Bay, accidentally or not, truly does it justice. Is he finally growing as a director? Maybe, though a fifth Transformers movie is next on the the pipeline. This one time, however, Bay delivers much more than his trademark visual chest-thumping. 13 Hours is great stuff worth repeated viewings.

BONUS FEATURES:

• Featurettes: “For the Record: Finding the Truth Amid the Noise”; “Uncovering Benghazi’s Secret Soldiers”; “Preparing for Battle: Behind the Scenes of 13 Hours” (a 30-minute making-of); “In Memorandum” (a montage of those who lost their lives during this incident). All of these featurettes are informative and interesting, though they didn’t really need to be included on an entirely separate disc).
• DVD & Digital Copies

KITTY CONSENSUS:

ME-OWW! BETTER THAN A FRESH CAN OF TUNA.

Rest in Peace, Muhammad Ali

"The Greatest" (1942-2016)

FIVE THINGS THAT HAVE US PURRING THIS SUMMER

INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE

The initial teaser didn't impress us, making it look more like a reboot of Battleship. But subsequent trailers included all the stuff that made the original so much damn fun...more returning characters, silly humor, jaw-dropping visuals and patriotic banner-waving. Sure, we don’t necessarily need an Independence Day sequel, but count us in anyway.

THREE LOST CLASSICS ON BLU-RAY

Anyone who's ever spent time browsing Free Kittens Movie Guide knows we have a soft spot for films of the 1970s. Not just the classics, but those of sentimental or nostalgic personal importance. This summer we're getting three of them, all of which have been covered extensively on our site. Shout Factory is releasing Rollercoaster and Two-Minute Warning, both originally released to capitalize on the disaster movie trend at the time (though neither are true disaster films), while Kino Lorber is putting out what looks to be the definitive Blu-Ray of The Taking of Pelham One Two Three, one of the great thrillers of the 70s. Guess who's doing an all-nighter in July revisting his childhood?

THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN

While we aren't big fans of remakes, we aren't opposed to them either (unless the original is absolutely perfect). Since 1960's The Magnificent Seven was itself a remake of The Seven Samurai, why not have another go-around? The cast this time includes Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke and Vincent D’Onofrio, to name a few. Throw in director Antoine Fuqua (Training Day, The Equalizer) and the final music score by the late, great James Horner, how can this one possibly miss?

HORROR: THE PURGE - ELECTION YEAR and THE CONJURING 2

We’re the first to admit the first two films in the polarizing Purge franchise aren’t perfect, but the concept is killer and this was one of those rare cases where the second film vastly improved on the first in every way. Will the third chapter be even better? With Frank Grillo returning, this time protecting a president who wants to eliminate The Purge, this sounds like the most ambitious one yet. 2013’s The Conjuring was a wonderful surprise to many horror fans (including us). Based on the supposedly true exploits of paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren, the film was suspenseful, smart and scary-as-hell, while never relying on blood or a body-count. This sequel brings back the same director, writers and stars for yet-another go-around. The trailer looks suitably ominous, so unless somebody behind the scenes totally screws the pooch, The Conjuring 2 might be the horror event of the year.

THE WALKING DEAD, SEASON 6 ON BLU-RAY

The Walking Dead is our favorite show, but we never watch it when it airs weekly on AMC. The constant commercial breaks and week-long waits between episodes are maddening. We’d rather wait and binge during a single glorious weekend in August, when the most recent season is typically released on video, though it does make going online a tricky endeavor throughout the rest of the year (you know...spoilers). Still, there’s no better way to watch this show.

Blu-Ray Review: JARHEAD 3: THE SIEGE

Starring Charlie Weber, Scott Adkins, Dante Basco, Romeo Miller, Erik Valdez, Sasha Jackson, Dennis Haysbert. Directed by Will Kaufman. (2016, 99/100 min).
UNIVERSAL

Jarhead 3 has arrived to remind us there was actually a Jarhead 2. That direct-to-DVD sequel jettisoned everything interesting about the original biographical 2005 film (including its A-list cast) to focus on gunplay and explosions. Similarly, Jarhead 3 is a sequel in-name-only. Other than a gratuitous appearance by Dennis Haysbert and the title, it bares no resemblance to either of the previous films.

This time, gung-ho Marine corporal Evan Albright (Charlie Weber, displaying all the charisma and personality of a trout) is transferred to help protect an American embassy in the Middle East. It's initially a dull assignment until a batch of unnamed terrorists decide to attack the complex in order to kill an informant. Of course, only Albright saw this siege coming in advance because everyone else in his squad thinks he's an overzealous dork (which he kind-of is). Top-billed Scott Adkins plays his commanding officer, who mostly exists to poo-poo Albright's enthusiasm before later conceding he was wrong.

After thirty dull minutes of exposition, the attack begins. At this point, the last hour of Jarhead 3 plays like a round of the video game, Call of Duty...lots of low-budget shootouts and explosions, faceless bad guys who make Imperial Stormtroopers look like marksmen and a few deaths along the way that we're supposed to care about because the suddenly solemn soundtrack says so. The problem is we don’t know enough about any of these characters to give a damn. Similarly, we’re only made aware of the film’s primary villain because he scowls, wears black and Albright suspects him right away.

"You had me at Hello."

But Jarhead 3 is far from the first movie to make big, dumb action priority-one. Sure, it’s more like watching someone else play a video game, but does it at-least deliver the carnage? Well, sort of. The thing is loaded with gunplay, CG-enhanced head-shots and occasional explosions, but nothing you haven’t seen before in any straight-to-video sequel to Sniper, The Marine or Behind Enemy Lines.

In other words, Jarhead 3 is your usual low-wattage action flick trading in on a brand name to get attention. It’s competently made for what it is, but you aren't likely to give it a single thought afterwards.

BONUS FEATURES:

• Making of Featurette
• Unrated and R-Rated Versions
• DVD & Digital Copies

KITTY CONSENSUS:

MEH...

Blu-Ray Review: HAIL, CAESAR!

Starring Josh Brolin, George Clooney, Alden Ehrenreich, Ralph Fiennes, Scarlett Johansson, Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Emily Beecham, Alison Pill, Max Baker, Christopher Lambert (really!), Fisher Stevens, Fred Melamed, Clancy Brown, Dolph Lundgren (seriously!). Directed by Ethan & Joel Coen. (2016, 106 min).
UNIVERSAL

I'll say this much...you'll know Hail, Caesar! is undoubtedly a Coen Brothers film within the first few minutes, which is a good thing. Their movies are a genre unto themselves, and those who appreciate the Coens' creative sensibilities know it's essentially pointless to compare one of their films to anything else but other Coen films. Even then, they've cut such a wide swatch through so many genres that you can't simply examine The Big Lebowski in the same light as No Country for Old Men.

For the sake of simplicity, there are the 'serious' Coen films (which get all the Oscar nominations) and the 'playful' Coen films (where everyone involved seems to be having a great time). Hail, Caesar! is definitely one of the latter.

If comparisons must be made, I suppose Barton Fink, O Brother Where Art Thou? and the woefully underappreciated Hudsucker Proxy would immediately come-to-mind. Set in 1950's Hollywood, studio bigwig Eddie Mannix (Josh Brolin) oversees the actors in his stable, mostly making sure their questionable exploits don't hit the tabloids. Then the studio's biggest star, Baird Whitlock (George Clooney), is kidnapped from the set of their latest biblical epic (Hail, Caesar) by a group of disgruntled communist screenwriters and held for ransom. While trying to keep the production on schedule and the incident from leaking to the press, he also has to deal with an unwed pregnant starlet (Scarlett Johansson) and a disgruntled art-film director (Ralph Fiennes), angry from being forced to work with an imbecilic singing cowboy (Alden Ehrenreich). Meanwhile, Mannix is mulling over an enticing job offer from airplane manufacturer Lockheed, an escape from the constant madness of his profession.

After all these years, George Clooney finally sits down to watch Batman and Robin.

That's the story in a nutshell, but if you're at-all familiar with the Coen Brothers in 'playful' mode, you know the plot itself takes a backseat to eccentric characters and the various vignettes in which they appear. Hail, Caesar! sports such a huge cast that most of them are relegated to just a few scenes, yet none are gratuitous cameos where we say, "Hey look! It's Jonah Hill!" No matter how brief their screen time, everyone disappears into their roles. I was especially amused by Channing Tatum's performance in what begins as a high-falutin' 50's era musical number, only to lapse into hilarious homoeroticism (the best scene in the entire film).

Channing doesn't appreciate this extra's brand of method acting.

Most importantly, Hail, Caesar! is very funny, though it helps if you have an appreciation for the Coens' brand of playfulness. The laughs come more from the overall tone, situations & characters (Clooney's facial expressions alone are worth the price of admission) than clever one-liners and punchlines. While it may not go down as one of their stone cold classics, Hail, Caesar! is sharply-written, unpredictable and full of laugh-out-loud moments. It's the Coen Brothers' most consistently amusing film since O Brother, Where Art Thou?.

BONUS FEATURES:

• Featurettes: "Directing Hollywood"; "The Stars Align"; "An Era of Glamour"; "Magic of a Bygone Era"
• DVD and Digital Copies

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS

Blu-Ray Review: BALLERS: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON

Starring Dwayne Johnson, Rob Corddry, John David Washington, Omar Miller, Donovan W. Carter, Troy Garity, London Brown, Jazmyn Simon. Various Directors. (2015, 358 min).
HBO HOME ENTERTAINMENT

Wanna feel like a complete slacker? Consider the life of Dwayne Johnson. He’s one of the biggest movie stars in the world, popping up in two-to-four movies a year (including some actual good ones), has hosted Saturday Night Live four times, produced two reality TV shows and still revisits his WWE roots by jumping back in the ring from time to time. If he wasn’t so goddamn likable (he’s even stayed married to the same woman for 20 years), we’d be sick of him. Now Johnson’s managed to work yet-another series, HBO’s Ballers, into his schedule. As both star and executive producer, you have to wonder if this guy ever sleeps.

Ballers is a dramedy about all the big money, greed, contract dealings, decadence and extravagant lifestyles we typically associate with professional athletes (in this case, the NFL). Whether or not it's an accurate depiction is a question best left to others, but these 10 episodes seem to talk-the-talk & walk-the-walk (especially since it appears to have the full cooperation of the NFL). Though similar to Starz' basketball-themed Survivor's Remorse, Ballers features better writing and more dynamic characters. Regarding the latter, Johnson is ironically one of the least interesting. Sure, he's his usual charming self and completely likable as Spencer Strasmore, a former NFL star turned financial manager for younger upstarts. But like most of Johnson's roles, he's simply playing an extension of himself. Far more intriguing are Rob Corddrey as Strasmore's manic, socially-challenged partner, and John David Washington (Denzel's son) as a hot-headed, self-centered wide-receiver, trying (in vain?) not to blow the last chance afforded him by the Miami Dolphins.

The new HBO series, Balder Ballers.

Narratively, there are few surprises, since we've always suspected most pro athletes' problems (financial or personal) are ones we can only dream of having. But the journey is entertaining, and overall, the series does a good job making us care what happens to most of these characters. Of course, being an HBO series, Ballers is loaded with sex, drug use and other forms of Entourage-like behavior (even Johnson’s character engages in some gratuitous bumping-of-uglies in a later episode).

Most importantly, with episodes running a half-hour each, the show moves at a quick pace and seldom becomes repetitive. It’s also quite funny at times (the biggest laugh of the season coming from a wild pitch during a Florida Marlins game from one of Strasmore’s former opponents). The first season wraps things up a bit too neatly, but all-in-all, Ballers is a fun look at the wild side of professional sports and a supremely bingeworthy set of discs.

BONUS FEATURES:
“Inside the Episodes” - Short two-minute synopses of each of the 10 episodes by executive producer Evan Reilly and various cast members.
Digital Copy

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE SHOULDERPADS.

Blu-Ray Review: ZOOLANDER 2

Starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Farrell, Penelope Cruz, Kristen Wiig, Sting, Fred Armisen and more cameos than there are stars in the heavens. Directed by Ben Stiller. (2016, 102 min).
PARAMOUNT

As far as belated sequels to once-popular comedies go, Zoolander 2 is far from the worst one ever made (Blues Brothers 2000 holds that distinction), but still suffers from the same basic problem that plagues most others: Only so-much time can pass - in this case, 15 years - before relevancy becomes an issue, especially if what you’re offering is simply more of the same. The original Zoolander was an amusing one-joke comedy, but didn’t exactly set the box office on fire and could hardly be considered a classic. It found a wider audience on home video, but I doubt too many were really pining for further exploits of Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) and Hansel McDonald (Owen Wilson). I could be wrong, of course.

After 15 years, it’s business as usual. Zoolander 2 begins with an admittedly funny sequence featuring a cameo by Justin Bieber (one of the film’s worst-kept secrets). Someone is killing beautiful celebrities around the world, at-least those taking duck-faced selfies. Interpol agent Valentina Valencia (Penelope Cruz) determines that only Derek and Hansel can help her uncover who’s behind the assassinations. It turns out all these dead rock stars have been trying to protect the decedent of Steve, who was at the Garden of Eden with Adam & Eve and whose bloodline can provide eternal youth. Since Will Farrell returns as Jacobim Magatu, I don’t think I’m spoiling who the culprit is.

This scene was a bold move, presented without irony.

For those who loved the original, you’ll be happy to know the usual series of familiar gags (ranging from dumb to hilariously-dumb) are recycled for another go-around, this time with Cruz and Sting thrown into the mix. And like the first film, the number of gratuitous celebrity cameos is massive (Bieber’s just the tip of the iceberg). However, because Zoolander 2's plot is flimsier and the premise is well-past its expiration date, the viewer is often distracted into playing a celebrity version of Where’s Waldo?.

This one flopped at the box office, perhaps because, like the original Zoolander, at home is where stuff like this plays best. Its singular joke is far more amusing to experience over and over when you aren't paying through-the-nose, making Zoolander 2 worth a rental for fans of the first film. Others beware.

BONUS FEATURES:

• Featurettes: “The Zoolander Legacy” (Cast & crew discuss getting this sequel off the ground); “Go Big or Go Rome”; “Drake Sather: The Man Who Created Zoolander” (short feature of the co-creator, who died in 2004)
• Youth Milk Beauty Ad
• DVD & Digital Copies
• Digital Copy of the original Zoolander

KITTY CONSENSUS:

NOT BAD...IF MORE-OF-THE-SAME IS WHAT YOU CRAVE

Rest in Peace, Burt Kwouk

Burt Kwouk (1930-2016)

Blu-Ray Review: TRIPLE 9

Starring Casey Affleck, Chiwetel Edjiofor, Anthony Mackie, Clifton Collins Jr., Woody Harrelson, Kate Winslet, Gal Gadot, Teresa Palmer, Norman Reedus, Luis Da Silva. Directed by John Hilcoat. (2016, 115 min).
UNIVERSAL

Triple 9 is cut from the same cloth as Heat and The Town. While not quite as memorable as either, it's an entertaining and exciting way to kill two hours.

An Atlanta heist crew, consisting of former Navy SEALS and corrupt cops, is hired by a Russian mob, led by Irina Vlaslov (Kate Winslet), into committing a bank robbery to steal a safe deposit box which has information that can free her husband, the actual mafia boss. But instead of getting paid, Michael Atwood (Chiwetel Edjiofor) and his crew are extorted into committing a second heist even more dangerous than the first. In fact, it seems impossible to pull-off until Franco (Clifton Collins Jr.), one of the corrupt cops, suggests killing a fellow officer, then calling it in over the radio as a Code 999 (meaning an officer is down), allowing them time to do the job while Atlanta's police force converges on the shooting location.

Meanwhile, Chris Allen (Casey Affleck) is a cop reassigned to the precinct run by his grizzled uncle, Jeffrey (Woody Harrelson). His new partner, Marcus (Anthony Mackie), is also a member of Atwood’s crew and decides Allen’s the perfect target; with his nephew down, Jeffrey would send every cop at his disposal to the scene. So Marcus instructs a local gang leader to do the hit, making it look like Allen was killed in the line of duty.

"I did it just like you said...neutralize the witnesses and interview the suspect."

While I serious doubt a major city’s entire police force would actually drop everything to respond to one call (even if it did involve a cop killing), it’s an interesting premise that we mostly buy into while watching. Triple 9 is structurally similar to Heat and The Town: an initial perfectly-executed robbery, followed by a lot of character exposition and planning leading up to the climactic heist attempt. The action is suitably kinetic, gritty and violent. A few nifty plot twists keep things interesting, even if we sometimes see them coming.

We also learn quite a bit about the major characters on both sides of the law, and for the most part, the performances serve them well, especially Mackie as Marco and Ejiofor as Michael; though two of the film’s many villains (the film is loaded with them), neither descend into pure despicability. On the other hand, Harrelson acts like he’s channeling the ghost of Tallahassee from Zombieland, while Winslet seems a bit out of her element as a ruthless mob leader. As for fans of prominently-billed Norman Reedus...try to enjoy the few minutes he’s actually onscreen.

Ultimately, Triple 9 does not reach the epic heights of the classic heist movies which obviously inspired it, but it’s fast-paced and entertaining, perhaps even worth taking in more than once. More-or-less ignored in theaters, the impressive cast and bursts of action make it well worth checking out at home.

BONUS FEATURES:

• 2 Featurettes: "Under the Gun" & "An Authentic World" (both are very short promotional interviews with cast & crew members).
• Deleted Scenes
• Digital Copy

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS