August 8, 2017
August 6, 2017
Blu-Ray Review: THE EXCEPTION
Starring
Lily James, Jai Courtney, Christopher Plummer, Janet McTeer, Eddie
Marsan, Ben Daniels, Mark Dexter. Directed by David Leveaux. (2016,
107 min).
The
Nazis have recently invaded Holland, where Germany's former leader,
Kaiser Wilhelm (Christopher Plummer) is living in exile. While he has no political power during the Nazi campaign, they are concerned
with reports that a Dutch spy is lurking around to kill him. So
Captain Brandt (Jai Courtney) is charged with protecting Kaiser and
his wife.
On
the day of his arrival at their mansion, he meets house-servant
Mieke (Lily James). In a couple of rather graphically gratuitous
moments, they have explicit sex before even learning each other's
names. Just when you think The Exception is going to be one of those
movies, along comes the plot, which plays its hand earlier than one
might expect...
 |
| Kaiser never loses at Risk ('cause he cheats). |
Brandt
is the 'exception' of the title, an SS officer who is appalled at
what the Nazis are doing, and tormented by nightmares of the horrors he's witnessed. In a revelation that'll surprise no one, Mieke turns out to be
the spy the Nazis are looking for, in addition to being Jewish.
Kaiser himself, while still loyal to his country, does not approve of
the Nazis' methods. Though a tad eccentric, he's kindly, sympathetic
toward the Dutch and ultimately horrified upon learning some of
Heinrich Himmler's atrocities.
 |
| "Come on, lady, it was one hotel towel. What's the big deal?" |
The
film takes time establishing its players, but despite their
initial full-frontal encounters, the 'romance' between Brandt &
Mieke doesn't resonate all that much. Still, Courtney and James are appealing enough to make us care about them. Plummer, on the other hand,
effortlessly steals every scene he's in. Though his role is far from
a cameo, it's too bad Kaiser isn't the central character.
Elsewhere, the film is relatively slow-going until the final act,
which provides a fair amount of suspense and comes to a satisfying
conclusion.
Those
looking for the usual action and romance often found in a WWII drama
may be disappointed. The Exception doesn't have much of
either, despite a few fleeting efforts to establish its two leads
through decidedly non-erotic sex. However, the story itself is just
interesting enough to keep us watching, as is Plummer's wonderful
performance.
EXTRA
KIBBLES
FEATURETTE:
"Behind the Scenes of The Exception"
AUDIO
COMMENTARY - By director David Leveaux
DIGITAL
COPY
KITTY CONSENSUS:
NOT BAD...THOUGH NOT EXCEPTIONAL (cat humor)
Blu-Ray Review: KUNG FU YOGA
Starring
Jackie Chan, Aarif Rahman, Zhang Yixing, Miya Muqi, Sonu Sood, Disha
Patani, Zhang Guoli, Amyra Dastur. Directed by Stanley Tong. (2017,
107 min).
Near
the beginning of Kung Fu Yoga, there's a brief scene where a
few of our protagonists engage in some tendon-snapping stretches.
Since yoga figures absolutely nowhere in the actual plot and is never
mentioned again, I'm assuming it was included so they could give the
film a funny title.
It's
just as good a title as anything else, since this reteaming of Jackie
Chan and director Stanley Tong (Supercop, Rumble in the Bronx)
is a kitchen-sink collection of action/comedy set pieces assembled
into an Indiana Jones plot filtered through Chuck Jones. The film gives us ancient maps, lost treasure, hidden tombs, angry snakes and booby-trapped lairs as Chan leads an
eclectic batch of archeologists, treasure hunters and yoga experts to
battle an Indian megalomaniac, cannon fodder henchmen, killer hyenas
and a grumpy lion riding shotgun in an SUV. We're whisked to one
exotic location after another, from the glacial caverns of Tibet to
the immaculate palaces of Dubai. And everything culminates in an epic
Bollywood dance number.
 |
| "MY SUNBURN!!!!" |
At
no point does the film approach anything resembling plausibility, nor
does it really try. For example, the extended car chase through the
streets of Dubai is played almost entirely for laughs, such as when
our villain escapes his suddenly airborne vehicle by stepping out at
just the right time, then walks away without a scratch. Speaking of
which, the ample amount of CGI is so terrible that one begins to
suspect it is intentional. In fact, during the opening prologue, my
wife was sure it would be revealed to be a character playing a video
game.
Still,
Kung Fu Yoga is often quite funny. While the humor is mostly
of the slapstick variety, some of the dialogue is priceless, as when
one character, held hostage, begins to cry, "I'm gonna die! I
mean, I know everybody dies, but I'm gonna die right now!"
Jackie Chan is affable and charming as usual. While not as limber as he used to be, he's still a terrific physical performer. Chan also
seems more than happy to share the spotlight with the rest of the
cast, all of whom have their amusing moments (even the bad guys come
across as sort-of congenial).
Kung
Fu Yoga is one of those movies where, if you aren't already
onboard the crazy train, you'll find it insufferable. Nearly a
live-action cartoon, the film never takes itself too seriously and
nor should the viewer. This one is for those looking for nothing more
than colorful, silly, inoffensive entertainment.
EXTRA
KIBBLES
FEATURETTES:
"Best of Both Worlds"; "The Dynamic Duo"; "The
Making Of Kung Fu Yoga"; "Jackie Chan Featurette";
"Bollywood Dance Featurette"
BLOOPER
REEL (needlessly punctuated by "funny" onscreen text)
TRAILER
DVD
COPY
KITTY CONSENSUS:
NOT BAD...LIKE CAT CHOW
August 4, 2017
A CHRISTMAS STORY: Alternate Ending
 |
| "I sure hope Ralphie doesn't shoot his eye out." |
20 YEARS LATER...
 |
| "Not my eye, Ma. Not my eye." |
August 3, 2017
THE OMEN (1976): A Beginner's Guide to Satan
Starring
Gregory Peck, Lee Remick, David Warner, Billie Whitelaw, Harvey
Stephens, Patrick Throughton. Directed by Richard Donner. (1976, 111
min).
Essay
by D.M. ANDERSON
It
was near the end of sixth grade when The Omen crept onto my
radar. Before that, 666 was simply the number which followed 665.
The trailer was spooky as hell, as was the appearance of the title itself in the newspaper ads, with three sixes symbolically stamped inside the 'O'. I didn't
know what it meant, or what the movie was even about, but those
numbers were intriguingly ominous.
This
was also the time when puke colored Pee-Chees were the school
folder of choice for many kids. There were handy math &
science tips located on the inside pockets (the
multiplication chart is the only reason I still remember that 12 x 12
equals 144), and generic illustrations of high school athletes which practically begged for afro enhancement or arrows in their heads. And we all knew someone who revised 'Pee-Chee All Season
Portfolio' to read, 'Kissing is Pee-Chee, but sex is an all season
sport.'
 |
| The perfect canvas |
There
was also plenty of empty space left to scribble band
logos, expletives or the name of your current crush. Ever the movie
fanatic, I used to draw titles and tag lines all over my
Pee-Chee the way my peers painstakingly drew the KISS logo on
theirs. When The Omen came out, I drew those sixes with a red marker as accurately as I could. I still didn't know what they meant, but man, it looked cool. The girl seated next to me, Suzanne,
saw it and issued this dire warning: "That's the Devil's number!
You're gonna go to Hell for that!"
Even
though I told her it was from a movie, she went and informed the
teacher, Mrs. Swanson, who was apparently unconcerned that I had just
damned myself. She simply told the Suzanne to sit back down and
reminded me get back to reducing my fractions (which none of my Pee-Chee charts could help me with).
Suzanne's
comment, and the fact she thought my actions were blasphemous enough
to rat me out, weighed heavily on me. The Devil's number? Oh, man, what have I done? On the plus side, Suzanne didn't talk to me for the
remainder of the year. She was a sanctimonious little shit who went
on become an equally sanctimonious cheerleader in high school (I know, because she refused to go out with me).
 |
| "Ahhhhhhhh!" |
Now
that I knew 666 was associated with Ol' Scratch himself, my
sixth-grade mind deduced that The Omen must not only be scary,
but evil. I'd seen horror movies before, but never one that
suggested I'd risk my soul just watching it. For an impressionable
youth like me, that meant only one thing: challenge accepted!
When
the movie opened at the nearby Southgate Quad later that summer, a
few friends and I cheerfully peddled our bikes toward damnation.
Since The Omen was rated R, we further-tarnished our souls by
sneaking into this one after buying tickets for one of the PG movies
playing there.
In
The Omen, Gregory Peck is Robert Thorn, the American
ambassador in England with his pregnant wife, Katherine (Lee Remick). After Robert is told their baby was stillborn - and Katherine was apparently kept out of the loop - a creepy priest
suggests replacing it with another newborn whose mother just died. Robert agrees to raise it as his own to avoid breaking Katherine's heart.
The Thorns lead an idyllic life until bizarre things
begin to happen: their nanny hangs herself, baboons go apeshit (no
pun intended) in Damien's presence and the kid freaks out whenever he
gets near a church. A few folks figure out Damien is actually the
Antichrist, but most die before they can convince the Thorns.
Those spectacular death scenes were a big draw for The Omen
back then, including the iconic onscreen decapitation by a wayward
pane of glass, which certainly wasn't something you saw everyday, even in a horror film.
As
Robert begins to suspect Damien might be behind more nasty doings than simply soiling some diapers, he and photographer Keith Jennings
(David Warner) do some investigating. They learn Damien's arrival was
foretold in the Book of Revelations and has been watched over and
protected from birth by Satanists, including their new nanny, the
family dog (bad dog, indeed) and the priest who suggested the baby swap in the first
place.
After
Katherine is killed, Robert realizes Damien must die. The only way to
kill the Antichrist is to stab him in a church with seven holy
daggers. Robert drags Damien kicking & screaming to the alter,
but just as he's about to use the first dagger, he is shot and killed
by police.
 |
| What to Expect When You're Expecting an Evil Little Bastard |
If
you know anything about how movies work, you also know I haven't really provided any
spoilers. First of all, the title of the first sequel, Damien:
Omen II, gives away the fact the kid lives. Not only that,
killing children onscreen remains mostly taboo by major studios,
even if the character is a spawn of Satan. No way in hell would 20th
Century Fox ever release a potential summer blockbuster that ends
with a legendary & beloved icon like Gregory Peck stabbing a five year old seven
times.
Maybe
for people who take the Bible literally (like Suzanne), The Omen
and its Cliff's Notes depiction of the Antichrist might be considered
evil, especially since evil wins. Other than Rosemary's Baby,
there weren't too many other mainstream horror films where the devil emerges triumphant. That bleak, foreboding
resolution was a big part of what made The Omen pretty scary.
Unlike
the esoteric dread of Rosemary's Baby or The Exorcist's
existential crises, The Omen's brand
of evil was easy to digest and instantly identifiable...just
check your kid's scalp the same way you'd check for lice. If you spot
three sixes, he's gonna destroy the world and must therefore die.
Until Star Wars came along, the conflict between good and evil
didn't get any simpler than that.
The
Omen's impact on popular culture was significant, particularly
its use of the number 666. Many of us those who never even
cracked open a Bible suddenly saw "the devil's number"
everywhere...in UPC codes, on street addresses and Black Sabbath
album covers (of course). People even wanted to change their phone
numbers to avoid being stuck with 666 prefixes. The number was scary and intriguing at the
same time.
In
1982, Iron Maiden released their classic song, "The Number of
the Beast," complete with a paraphrased spoken-word intro from
the Book of Revelations. Bassist/songwriter Steve Harris was inspired
by Damien: Omen II, which gave him nightmares (officially
making him the only person ever scared by Omen II). These were the good ol' days when "Satanic Panic" had puritanic parents and watchdogs more concerned with protecting impressionable youth
from falling in league with the devil than teaching them to practice safe sex. While
other bands were long-suspected of putting subliminal shout-outs to Satan
in their music, here was Iron Maiden screaming it on-high right in
the fucking chorus:
Six...six
six!
The
Number of the Beast;
Hell...and
fire
Was
spawned to be released!
Compared to the black metal bands who'd later ooze out of Norway, Maiden's
demonic noodlings sound as harmless as a Pat Boone record. But at the time,
these guys displayed some epic balls to put that shit right out-front for the world to hear. Hell, a tiny part of me
feared for my soul for simply enjoying it. That song and its
blasphemously catchy chorus briefly made Iron Maiden the most
terrifying band in the world. Ironically, anyone who actually took
the time to read the lyrics would realize they weren't promoting
Satanism at all.
 |
| "I feel pretty...oh, so pretty..." |
The
Omen's legacy doesn't stop
there. For years after it was released, the very name, Damien,
epitomized evil to people who thought a lot like Suzanne. They'd point out that it
sounds like demon, and some idiots believed it actually meant "son of the
devil." Nearly 20 years later, when my wife and I were expecting our first
child and pondering baby names, she flat-out refused to consider
Damien when I suggested it. Because of its sinister connection to the
movie, she didn't want any kid of ours strapped with that kind of cultural baggage. Though I was initially dejected, it turned out to be a moot point since we had a girl (we named her Medusa, though it's spelled N-A-T-A-L-I-E).
Actually,
despite its evil implications, the name dramatically increased in popularity after its use in
both The Exorcist and
The Omen. That could
be a coincidence, of course, but while I'm sure some folks were
inspired by The Exorcist's
Father Damien's existentially-troubled character, it's safe to assume
more-than-a-few twisted couples chose it because of a blue-eyed
toddler who tried to kill his mother with a tricycle.
 |
| "I don't wanna go to gramma's house! It smells old there!" |
Of
course, all things fade with time and we're more than a generation
removed from The Omen's
insidious cultural influence. Only the most literal-minded zealots
still piss themselves when accosted by three sixes. Not even a pointless
remake of the film (premiering with considerable studio hype on June 6, 2006
at 6:06:06 in the morning) could restore the number to its former
evil glory. To this generation, Iron Maiden's most notorious song is
simply a challenging level in the Guitar Hero
video game. The name of Damien is no longer synonymous with the
Antichrist (I would say Donald has that distinction right now). People are currently more familiar with
Damian Lillard than Damien Thorn. As a teacher in the real world, I
recently had a boy in my class named Damien. A nice kid, but when I once
made a joking Omen reference regarding his name, he appeared to have no clue what I was
talking about (or maybe I just wasn't very fuckin' funny).
All
that being said, The Omen
gave many kids of my generation a terrifying introduction to the devil,
albeit a simplistic one (much like kids from the 1950s who learned
about Moses from The Ten Commandments). The movie has actually aged pretty well, though. Its creative methods of
human demise may seem rather quaint to those raised on Final Destination, but the foreboding tone
and atmosphere (helped immeasurably by Jerry Goldsmith's
Oscar-winning score) hasn't been equaled by too many supernatural
horror films since.
Blu-Ray News: RONIN Coming from Arrow Video 8/29
August 2, 2017
Blu-Ray Review: THE DINNER
Starring
Richard Gere, Steve Coogan, Laura Linney, Rebecca Hall, Cloe Sevigny,
Charlie Plummer, Adepero Oduye, Joel Bissonnette. Directed by Oren
Moverman. (2017, 120 min).
Watching
The Dinner is like sitting at a poker table with someone who
plays like each hand is the last one. Every time it's his bet,
he hems & haws, fumbles with his chips and repeatedly checks the cards in his hand as though they'll magically change. Then after an eternity of contemplation -
and everyone at the table is ready to kill him - he folds
anyway.
An
admittedly good cast is wasted in this frustrating tease of a movie
that's about as entertaining as a tax audit and, like your poker friend's tactics, ends up being much ado about nothing.
Two estranged brothers and their wives meet at a ritzy restaurant to
discuss and decide the fate their sons, two little bastards who
recorded themselves torturing a homeless woman to death. Since one of
the brothers (Richard Gere) is running for governor, the political
ramifications loom large.
 |
| "Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women." |
While
this has the makings of a compelling one-act morality play, The
Dinner's deadly two-hour running time is padded with needless
ambiguity, arty pretensions, ham-fisted metaphors and boring
flashbacks which establish most of these
characters as awful human beings. As a disgraced history teacher with
mental issues, Paul (Steve Coogan), is often the most unbearable
person in the room. Despite what we learn of his tumultuous past, Paul's abrasive personality & verbal venom make it tough to muster any empathy.
Worse yet, he's the primary focus of the story.
The
reward for our patience is the realization that we're no more
enlightened by these characters or events than we were at the
beginning, just like waiting on that anal-retentive poker player
whose hand but turns out to be nothing. The Dinner is a
joyless and frustrating endurance test that wallows in
self-importance.
EXTRA
KIBBLES
AUDIO
COMMENTARY - With Writer/director Owen Moverman and Laura Linney
PHOTO
GALLERY
DIGITAL
COPY
KITTY CONSENSUS:
BLEH...LIKE COUGHING UP A HAIRBALL
August 1, 2017
Blu-Ray Review: HIRED GUN
Featuring
Liberty DeVitto, Jason Hook, Phil X, Rudy Sarzo, Justin Derrico,
Kenny Aronoff, Alice Cooper, Rob Zombie, David Foster, Ray Parker Jr,
Steve Lukather, Jason Newsted, Steve Vai, Eric Singer. Directed by
Fran Strine. (2016, 98 min).
Hired
guns are those professional musicians whose names you don't know,
whose faces don't grace album covers and whose stage presence is
overshadowed by the star we actually pay to see. Yet at the same
time, it's often their contributions that turn an ordinary -
or even terrible - song into a classic.
It's
seems like an odd, thankless profession. After taking years to master
your instrument, you spend your career making someone
else sound good. You regularly perform before thousands of
screaming fans, yet none of them are there to see you. Your creative
abilities may be in high demand, but you'll seldom get any credit for
it. It can be a lucrative way to make a living, but there's nothing resembling job security,
even if you've been Billy Joel's drummer for twenty years.
 |
| Wyld Stallyns!!! |
Hired
Guns is a fascinating - and long overdue - documentary about a
dozen or so of these unsung heroes. Featuring several candid
interviews, we meet such legendary session musicians as drummer Kenny
Aronoff, who commands a ton of respect from his peers, and bassist Rudy
Sarzo, who's played in just about every metal band on the planet, but
mostly discusses his tenure with Ozzy Osbourne (as well as the death
of Randy Rhodes, arguably the most famous hired gun of all time).
Personally,
I found Liberty DeVitto's story the most interesting (and
ultimately bittersweet). DeVitto and two friends spent their entire professional
career as Billy Joel's back-up band, only to be unceremoniously
tossed aside for younger players. Additionally, Jason Hook's career
could make an pretty great Hollywood success story all by itself. A
rocker at-heart, he paid the bills for years as a guitarist for such
pop tarts as Mandy Moore and Hillary Duff before landing a plum spot
in Alice Cooper's band. Finally, he graduated from hired gun to
full-blown rock star as a member of Five Finger Death Punch,
currently one of the biggest heavy metal bands in the world.
 |
| "Hey! I like these pants!" |
For
the most part, the subjects talk fondly of their chosen profession,
even if few have attained any notoriety outside their circle of fellow musicians. Most are in it for the
love of playing, anyway. Most
importantly, Hired Guns turns their stories into a very entertaining film, about music we've all heard from the perspective of
those we haven't. This is definitely must-own disc for music fans of any genre.
EXTRA
KIBBLES
HIRED
GUNS Q&A - At the SXSW Film Festival
ADDITIONAL/EXTENDED
INTERVIEWS
"THE
DRILLS" - Song performed by Phil X, Kenny Aronoff & Phil
Bushnell
KITTY CONSENSUS:
MEE-OW! LIKE BEING TURNED LOOSE IN A BIRD SANCTUARY.
Blu-Ray News: FLATLINERS SteelBook BD+DVD Combo Coming 9/26
Mill Creek Entertainment, the leader in value home entertainment, is
pleased to announce the upcoming release of the cult-classic 90s film Flatliners as a SteelBook® Blu-ray + DVD combo on September 26, 2017.
This
star-studded film, directed by Joel Schumacher, features acclaimed
performances by Kiefer Sutherland, Julia Roberts, Kevin Bacon, William
Baldwin and Oliver Platt as a group of medical students who begin
experimenting with near-death experiences. Flashes of thrilling
nightmares from childhood memories begin to haunt each of them as
reflections of past committed sins and sins others have committed
against them. Each experience exponentially intensifies as they delve
deeper into the death experience in the hopes to find a cure.
“We are thrilled to partner with SteelBook® to develop a collectible product that’ll appeal to fans of Flatliners and
to collector community,” says Barrett Evans, VP of Marketing and
Product Development for Mill Creek Entertainment. “We wanted to capture
the film’s haunting, neo-Gothic tone and the overriding existential
themes with this new artwork. The interior spread illustrates vignettes
of each character’s haunted past through an all-new interpretation. We
are proud of how this came together and feel it complements the
artistic originality of Schumacher’s film.”
The sequel, starring Ellen Page,
Diego Luna, Nina Dobrev, James Norton, Kiersey Clemons and featuring
Kiefer Sutherland reprising his role of Nelson is slated to hit theaters
September 29 nationwide.
Blu-Ray News: 47 METERS DOWN Swims to Digital on 9/12 and Blu-ray, DVD on 9/26
Claire Holtand & Mandy Moore star in the Pulse-Pounding Thrill Ride
Arriving on Digital HD September 12 and on Blu-ray Combo Pack and DVD on September 26 from
Lionsgate
SANTA MONICA, CA (August 1, 2017) – Discover the terrifying dangers lurking under the
surface when 47 Meters Down swims its way onto Digital HD on September 12
and Blu-ray Combo Pack (plus DVD and Digital HD), DVD and On Demand September
26. Stuck 47 meters below the ocean surface, Claire Holt (“The Originals”)
stars alongside Mandy Moore (“This is Us”) in this must-see underwater thriller.
Holt and Moore are joined by star Matthew Modine (The Dark Knight Rises) in this gripping race against time.
Sisters Lisa (Mandy Moore)
and Kate (Claire Holt) become trapped at the bottom of the ocean when a diving
expedition to observe sharks goes horribly wrong. When the cable attaching the
cage sinks to the bottom of the ocean, the sisters must figure out a way to get
back to safety battling injuries, lack of oxygen, and worst of all,
bloodthirsty, great white sharks.
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